Bring out your #metadata

When all this furore over metadata started up, I wasn't clear on what it was. So I found out. I should offer these highly technical research skills to our govt, they obviously need it because what was rather immediately obvious is it was basically everything Tony said it wasn't. It takes real talent to be that wrong. And real arse to do it in public and continue on as if you hadn't made a complete arse of yourself.

What I keep wondering every time they talk about security and terrorist risk, is really, just how scared of terrorists do they think I should I be? A medium security threat. I feel like maybe sending forces out into the streets was necessary for a "medium" security threat. How high do these security threats go before we put defenses out on the street? This is starting to sound like British climbing grades.  Medium, high, really bloody high, preposterously dangerous, honestly, we are are fucked, here they are coming for us now?

But no, what we actually have is 25 or so people they think have been fighting in Afghanistan or somewhere who have come back to Australia. 25 out of 23 500 000 people. I'm just going to round that up for the sake of late night maths. It's about 0.000001% of the population. And the best way to protect us all from this enormous number of people? Metadata retention. For all 23 500 000 of us. Actually, I find it quite amusing that they might try and find anything useful out of my metadata. Like the companies that buy my credit card information. Good luck predicting what I'm going to do from all that.

But really, when they carry on about threats in Australia, I just can't get worked up about terrorism. Know how many people have died in Australia ever from terrorist attacks? Um, none. I'm not worried about being eaten by a shark either, and for something that's already really bloody unlikely, that's still a heck of a lot more likely than in a terrorist attack. Do you drive or work? Don't do it! 109 workplace deaths already this year. 153 road deaths in Vic alone. It's hazardous. Acutally, 58 Australians died getting out of bed in 2011. Don't even get up. You can still produce all that metadata from bed anyway, so you'll be safe from terrorism. I expect the new Direct Action Plan on climate change will be metadata retention. The govt knowing you wasted 5 minutes of your life on my blog will save the planet.